The company that hired me still hasn’t thrown anything my way and I’m just so aggravated at the situation it’s insane.

I’m starting working out tomorrow.

I don’t know what else I can ramble about without upsetting myself and putting myself back in bed.

Good evening everyone for those who don’t know I’m Korina and I have had the privilege of knowing Nikki as long as I’ve lived here and Kevin for as long as he’s been in Nikki’s life. For those that do know, please stop looking so worried this isn’t going to take that long.

A few weeks ago it hit me that Nikki and Kevin’s wedding was fast approaching and that as the maid of honor I was going to have to try to write something emotional enough to make her cry but hold it together in front of all you lovely people. For the first time in my life I was actually starting a speech early, this really couldn’t be something fueled by a lot of caffeine the night before the wedding.

I met Nikki in the first grade and two weeks later she went with my family completely out of the state on a unforgettable adventure with pink hats, hippo floating, sleeping bags, and as that girl at the hotel front desk SWORE, a room that the New Kids on The Block had stayed in. Throughout the years there were injuries, fights, two moves, and a phone call early in the morning when the Oklahoma City bombs went off and I had to know she was ok. Somehow we’ve picked up the pieces every time, but I don’t know if I ever fully recovered from that rock in the head, and carried on in life.

I am certainly not any expert on marriage, but I’ve got 2 personal tips from knowing Nikki for as long as I have.

Kevin you were there so you will probably know this. But if you want to make a lot of left turns and end up where you started, give a map to Nikki.

Never stand by her when you’re throwing rocks off a bridge.

I’d like to wish Nikki and Kevin the best of luck in everything they take on in their new journey. I think I’ve talked enough and everyone probably needs a drink so I’d just like to purpose a toast to Nikki and Kevin. I wish you luck in your new adventure together. To Nikki and Kevin.

I think I’m going to go listen to this song and read until I pass out.

Since when did they stop putting those little stickers on the tops of DVD’s? Granted it’s been a while since I’ve bought any but I enjoyed trying to peel those off and then putting them in my dvd cases.

I’ve been sick since Tuesday but it got worse on Wendsday. I woke up and it felt like I swallowed liquor and a lighter. Then that night my nose started running and it’s only been downhill from there. I don’t know what is going on exactly but I really hope it isn’t progressing into sometihng else. I only think of thise because I was trying to go up the stairs earlier and felt like I was going to die. I have 0 insurance right now so getting sicker would not be great right now.

I did go out yesterday and probably infected the masses. But I had to go to the post office and do some other random things. I then spent most of last night laying in bed because I couldn’t sleep.

I can’t believe I got this sick, I don’t even usually see that many people. I have shit I need to do this weekend. I need to get over this STAT.

I’m working on yet another site for this place and HOPEFULLY it’s what get’s me the job. Srsly, I need to be working again. But I’m scrambling to put things together to prove I have enough knowledge. If they ask for anything else after this I’m going to be done.

My carpet still isn’t in the car as it rained most of today. I was THISCLOSE to getting it in but then some complications arose. You’re having problems with your car? you say. That simply cannot be! It also doesn’t account for the fact that my fuel injectors are FILTHY and I haven’t gotten to take care of those yet.

Light at the end of the tunnel: COMIC CON OMG I CANNOT WAIT IT IS GOING TO BE EPICCCC!

My Mood:
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people. Some days it’s like I never got out of HS. This is not what I meant when I told people “NEVAR CHANGE”

Also I started a sheet for what I’m going to do with my room and got some really great ideas from an ikea catalog for wall storage. Which should be easy enough to put together from stuff I can pick up at Menards. I might have to paint these shelves I already have but that’s no big deal. OO I should see if I can find a awesome contact paper or do vinyl in a cool design on them. Now I’m doing all kinds of plotting ^.^

I also finally think I’m going to make a cover for my papasan chair. I’m going to get a mix of fabric in the colors I’m doing my room in and going to quilt it together or something. Ooh or I could make it from some of my old sheets. I SHOULD BLEACH THEM AND THEN TIE DYE IT OMG OMG. lol It is a perfect design for something that a site I was on called it a stoner chair. Ok I’m kidding with the tie dye but that would be hilarious and awesome.

Ok it’s been a crazy long day. I need to get some sleep.

And as I’ve said before, I consider myself as many of us in this room do as a 120 Percenter. Which means that if I’m not doing something at 120% I feel like I’m failing. And I know you all can relate to that.- Michelle Obama

This probably explains why I didn’t feel like I did enough at my last job or the reason why I hate getting unemployment. I’m a live-to-work kind of person and while I’m trying to change that it’s still ingrained in who I am.

To say I’ve been sad lately is putting it lightly. Really lightly if I’m being honest. A lot of little things have sent me into emotional tailspins and I’m trying to calm down about everything. I’ve been a panicky mess. I will cry at the drop of a hat and then in like 10 minutes suck it up for a little while but then I end up losing it again. If I could just lay in bed and be sad/mope I would. Not that it would do any good.

I can’t even get away from it at night. Last night I woke up standing by my bedroom door with all the lights on in my room and still terrified. I don’t exactly remember the dream, I remember throwing a cover back on something then being terrified. I haven’t sleepwalked (?) since I was in HS but I remember going through a rough time then. So maybe there is a correlation between my emotional state and sleepwalking. I can say that I really don’t like waking up somewhere other than where I fell asleep. It’s terribly confusing.

Another thing that is going on is my car. I had a gallon of milk go all over the place and unfortunately it hasn’t ended yet. So far I’ve entirely taken out the seats and the front portion of the carpet. I’m so glad the carpet isn’t one big piece. I ended up having to get another carpet and picked one up from a local auto part place that get’s parts from wrecked vehicles. So I only spent $100 but I had to shampoo it before I put it in the car because I had to get the blood and glass up somehow Unfortunately I’m a tard and used WAY too much water so I had to set it up so the water would gtfo.

Gus is wanting me to go to bed and I’m exhausted so I’m giving up for the evening. Here’s hoping I don’t wake up at 4:04 am again (srsly it was 4:04, I giggled and said outloud “error 4:04 sleep not found”

I really didn’t plan to make this post this long. edit:fml I broke the layout. don’t feel like fixing it rn.

this.too.shall.pass
edit: couldn’t size it down far enough so here is the link. it’s a really amazing video
ok I don’t even know what’s going on now.

NO SRSLY I AM NOT KIDDING. I AM SICK OF CRYING.

going to get my bake on

I’m the first one up this morning and I really should be going to get my car taken care of so it doesn’t smell like ass anymore. But I decided to have some cake and do this instead.

I called someone I used to work with last week and man it was way harder than I thought it would be. She’s such a great and wonderful person and was asking me how it was going, etc and I just ended up getting off the phone and crying. That day in general was pretty rough but being able to hang out this weekend has been making it better.

What if I can’t find a web design job? I was already told once that I didn’t have enough knowledge in something (which is why I’m learning Joomla) is that going to be the case for everything? Me thinking shit like this sends me into a tailspin and I end up crying.

I can only imagine I’m so emotional because of all the shit that’s happened has collided with my birthday panic attack.

I never thought I would be this desperate to be working again.

my bday is next week, I’ve already been breaking down about it.